Random People

You know how the most random of people tend to make you feel better about yourself out of the blue? Well that happened tonight, from someone very unexpected... Here is what he told me after he read my last post. "First, love that song, and second, you shouldn’t be so eager for love. Let it find you. It doesn’t like to be looked for, it loves to drop in when you least expect it. You are a wonderful person who deserves the world. You make who' ever around you seem like their life isn’t so miserable because you cheer them up. You are wonderful SARA START and people know this and love will come knocking, just you wait." Thanks sweetie… later days..

Girl's Become Lovers..

I don't know why, but I have been in a rather mellow mood of late. One thing I blame is John Mayer, which in turn leads me to blaming Gerrit. Damn you Gerrit. Ever since that ride home with you and Katherine I can't get John Mayer out of my head. His lyrics hit home for me, and I find it extremely annoying. Another reason for my impending melancholy is my want of physical intimacy. Let's get something straight, that does not mean sex. I miss the nights spent on the couch with someone you care about. Doing nothing, but feeling warm and safe. I yearn for the closeness I once shared with someone I felt connected with. I'm quite fed up with being single now, I've done my time. I'm ready to jump back in the dating game. But, as I am ready, it seems that no one will take the plunge with me. "I know a girl, she puts the colors inside of my world. She's just like a maze, where all of the walls up continually change." It drives me insane when love is flung into the lap of those who do not appreciate it, not that this as anything to do with the lot of you, but I believe you should be informed as to my change of heart. And, I also realize that all of you [for the most part] really disliked Carter, but, I ask you to refrain from commenting on him. As I have already told Jordan, it hurts me more than I can actually express when you tell me all of the horrible things you did/talked about when I was with a person I loved. I realize that I can do better than him, but don't think for one second that I was settling. There was something there that none of you will ever understand, and your comments are unwelcome, so please keep them to yourself. I laughed it off before, but do not think that I will anymore. Now, as I have said, I am on a quest. But, I won't be going out much anymore. I think it's time that I actually tried to get ahold of my life before it reels out of my control. So please forgive me as I become a recluse, but it is necessary. "I've done all I can to stand on the steps with my heart in my hand." later days.

pretty girl

"Pretty Girl" - Sugarcult

Pretty girl is suffering, while he confesses everything

Pretty soon she'll figure out what his intentions were about

That's what you get for falling again

You can never get 'em out of your head

It's the way

That he makes you feel

It's the way

That he kisses you

It's the way

That he makes you fall in love

She's beautiful as usual with bruises on her ego and

Her killer instinct tells her to beware of evil men

And that's what you get for falling again

You can never get 'em out of your head

And that's what you get for falling again

You can never get 'em out of your head

It's the wayThat he makes you feel

It's the way

That he kisses you

It's the way

That he makes you fall in love

It's the way

That he makes you feel

It's the way

That he kisses you

It's the way

That he makes you fall in love

Love

Pretty girl, pretty girl

Pretty girl is suffering, while he confesses everything

Pretty soon she'll figure out

You can never get 'em out of your head

It's the way

That he makes you cry

It's the way

That he's in your mind

It's the way

That he makes you fall in love

It's the way

That he makes you feel

It's the way

That he kisses you

It's the way

That he makes you fall in love

Love

Some Words of Advice

“[we] are always frightened of the drowned one, where weeping ghost, wet hair hanging and skin bloated, waits silently by the water to pull down a substitute.” (Maxine Hong Kingston) I used to have a friend like this, a ‘drowned one’. They were not drowned literally of course, but more so engulfed in their own self deprecation. This person had the lowest self esteem I have ever encountered, even lower than myself, which is really quite hard. This person seems dead set on dragging everyone else down into the miry cesspool of their life, and if you refuse to join them, they merely shaft you out. They call accuse them of being immature, disloyal and excommunicate you from their life. Well, I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m glad that flagrant violation of friendship has dispersed from my life. I will not miss them, nor will I make any contact with a person so innately childish, that it pains my soul. Someone so insecure with themselves, they get angry when you don’t break standing plans to hang out with them, when you don’t want to anyway! This person seems completely complacent with wrecking everyone else’s life, or at least making them feel like less of a person when they are around. They are a ‘downer,’ they make happy, fun times, depressing and dramatic. And no matter how many times they say that they are ‘never talking to you again’ they always come crawling back, like a cracked out hooker in withdrawal, in need of their last junkie fix.

“In every circle of friends there is a whore, the one who flirts and does a little more”

(Cute Is What We Aim For) You Ridiculous attention whore. You are not content unless everyone feels sorry for you and your self-inflicted pathetic life. Here are some words of wisdom from myself. 1. Get over yourself, you aren’t that important anyway. 2. If you don’t change, you won’t have ANY friends left. 3. No one can stand you. 4. You are the only one making your life hard. You surround your life in a haze of anger and hatred. Get rid of it, you will be happier. 5. Find someone that loves you, that can actually change you back to the person you used to be, one I actually enjoyed being around.

You know who you are. later days

whatever, i'll do what i want.

alex. i don't want randoms posting on my blog. anonymous people can suck my nuts. and since its MY blog. i'll do what i want. deal with it. later days.

All things aside it was a great night.

For me.. last night was great.. with some exceptions. First of all I would like to apologize to everyone about last night, especially Gerrit. But let me make something very clear, I do not believe I have done anything wrong. Some things were misinterpreted, and some people's pride left bruised, but not one single individual is to blame. This my friends, was definately a group effort. For those of you who have known me for a considerable chunk of my life should have realized my obvious jest. As you all know, sex is not something I take lightly. Think about it, it took me 10 months to even have sex with my boyfriend. I don't believe in casual sex, or sex with my good guy friends. WHICH MEANS When I talk about sex with you, I am JOKING. [excluding in depth conversations with Kate, Michelle or any of the other female counterparts]. I figured sex was a safe topic to joke about with my good friends, but apparently not. Apparently god damn well EVERYTHING is taken literally these days. But what really bothers me the most, is the fact that it was actually expected from me. A friend. Without any actual concern for MY feelings on the matter. They were not taken into account at all. So Jordan, Alex and Gerrit, you know what this means; you will never, EVER get anything sexual from me. Anything I say will be a joke, just to clarify. And now that i have made myself perfectly clear, I would like to address Jordan's "stirring the pot." Let's never fucking do it. It's because of that stupid idea that all of this shit happened in the first place. And I'm not just blaming Jordan. All of us do it at some point. So let's stop. This group does not need any more god damn drama. We have enough without turning each other against everyone. And, as for the 'predictions', well someone is leaving though it's not the obvious choice. Since I seem to cause all the problesm, I will take my leave of all of you. That's right. If you're so god damn sick of me I won't come around or talk to you anymore. As instructed by Gerrit, I won't talk to him specifically. Since I fuck up his life something horrible it seems. Well, I'm tired and very sick of all the political bullshit that goes on in this group. Everyone talk behind everyone else's back, and I'm sick of it. I'm very confident that I was a popular topic of conversation whilst I was at the overdrive. We call ourselves friends... the 'lush' squad. Well that all went to hell a long time ago. And for the record, I would never date anyone in this group. I would rather gouge out my ovaries with a splintered wooden spoon. So there you have it, love me or hate me, or just be indifferent towards me. I don't care. I don't have time to deal with everyone else's shit on top of my own. I know it may not seem like it, but I love you guys. later days.

sooo

soo..

tyler..

this guy from the overdrive..

[he's a bouncer and we talk alot]

really cute.

kinda like him..

think i pretty much creeped him out last night.

caaaaaaaaause...

he won't really.. talk to me anymore?

wtf?

what the hell is going on with my life.

no name.

...Is it still me that makes you sweat?

Am I who you think about in bed?

When the lights are dim and your hands are shaking as you're sliding off your clothes?

Then think of what you did

And how I hope to God she was worth it.

When the lights are dim and your heart is racing as your fingers touch your skin.

I've got more wit, a better kiss, a hotter touch, a better fuck

Than any girl you'll ever meet, sweetie you had me

Boy I was it, look past the sweat, a better love deserving of

Exchanging body heat in the passenger seat?

No, no, no, you know it will always just be me...

I hate you

I hate you because all my friends hate you. I hate you because you can ruin my day without even trying. I hate you because you think you're the shit. I hate you because I gave everything to you and it didn't matter. I hate how you're always in my thoughts. I hate you because now I can't hang out with people I care about. I hate that a little part of me will always be in love with you. I hate that you phone me and act totally cool just to prove that I don't mean anything to you. I hate that you were such a waste of two years of my life. I hate you because you made me scared to give my heart to anyone else. I hate how I haven't cried in a month. I hate how a part of me still hasn't clued in. I hate you for coming along when I think everything is fine. ten things I hate about you... I hate the way you talk to me. And the way you cut your hair. I hate the way you drive my car. I hate it when you stare. I hate your big dumb combat boots. And the way you read my mind. I hate you so much it makes me sick-- it even makes me rhyme. I hate the way you're always right. I hate it when you lie. I hate it when you make me laugh -- even worse when you make me cry. I hate it that you're not around. And the fact that you didnt call. But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you - - not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all

more to come?

well.. after the post of last night... [see ohmygodohmygodohmygod] Gabe and I did alot of talking.. on the phone for an hour! haha it was a good talk.. he doesn't reciprocate my feelings for him.. but that's totally cool.. he's already one of my super good friends, and i'm so happy that we can stay friends after my freakyness. haha yeah Gabe is great. he came over tonight as well actually.. we just chilled out.. and ate leftovers. haha which is weirdly something that we just.. do? and man can that boy eat. my god! lol. but i mean.. who wouldn't? my mom's dips are pretty much the most amazing things i've ever tasted. anyway.. on a different note.. i'm sick once again for fucks sake. can i not go through ONE season without getting sick?! i don't think so. i think i have to get sick at least four times a year. god it sucks. im sneezing everywhere.. and I don't even have time to talk about my nose. haha. i hope you all catch it. and once again... i work thursday. so.. looks like the branch is out.. AGAIN! &%$#%%^&&***&^^^^motherfuckingsonofawhore! i miss my cowboys. sniff sniff. i better get un-sick soon. dangit. I BLAME SOCIETY!

ohmygodohmygodohmygod

so.. i told gabe. ... we are going to have coffee soon. .. more details to come.... HOLY SHIT WHAT HAVE I DONE?!

baha!

Obviously the answers are a joke; but the questions were really asked! Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow?(UK) A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die. Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA) A: Depends on how much you've been drinking. Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto-can I follow the Railroad tracks? (Sweden) A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water. Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden) A: So it's true what they say about Swedes. Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy) A: Let's not touch this one. Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA ) A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked. Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA) A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions. Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK) A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do. Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA) A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked. Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany) A: No, WE don't stink. Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you sell it in Canada? (USA) A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather. Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy) A: Yes, gay nightclubs. Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA) A: Only at Thanksgiving. Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round?(Germany) A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal. Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA) A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking. Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA) A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first. This is the funniest email I have ever recieved. omg.