heartwrenching phonecall...

you know when you miss someone.. and you can deal with it because if you haven't actually talked to them you can sort of be in denial about them being gone? well.. thats what i was doing with carter's absence. since i hadn't really talked to him on the phone i could sort of pretend that if i called him up, that he would come over and it would be like he wasn't actually gone.. well tonight that all went to hell.. because he phoned me and we talked for about an hour in total... and nearing the end of the conversation i was a complete mess.. i'll tell you.. there has been way too much crying in the past five days for anyone! we caught up on things that we have been doing.. me: going to the bar, climbing schools, working, studying, playing pool.. him: anything and everything you can do in hawaii.. snorkel, see sunken ships [pearl harbour], parasail, get a sunburn.. haha pretty much everything.. and after this talk its like this huge twinge in my body.. i miss him so much more.. i swear if i could have stayed on that phone all night i would have.. no question.. i want him home so badly it physically hurts me inside now. i mean sure, its only been six days.. but seriously think about it.. carter and i never go a day without seeing each other.. and i still have to go another six after today.. that is painful. i like to pretend that he is still in the city.. but after tonight its going to be really hard.. i want the days to pass as quickly as possible.. so next tuesday comes really quick! oh carter, carter.. i miss you. and filling the day with arbitrary things just doesn't cut it after awhile.. i mean.. there are only so many times that you can go to tim hortons.. so many hours of tv you can watch.. and only so many times that you can climb on the same roof. work helps obviously.. because i can be fully concentrated on what im doing.. and this thursday should be good because the mighty ducks night is finally going to happen!! ooooooooooooh yeah.. lol im super pumped about that.. and tonight [up until the phone call] was great! it was kate's birthday, we chilled with an old friend and just sort of dicked around!.. don't get me wrong.. im really glad that he called, estatic really.. but i just miss him that much more now. haha i know this seems to be all i talk about lately guys, and im sorry about that.. its just carters a huge part of my life.. you all know that.. frick you bare witness to it every damn day.. so im sure you understand.. i love you all for being there to 'fill my loneliness' as michelle would put it.. thanks so much guys! and now i just have to prepare myself for another one tomorrow.. haha.. later days.